Two words that beat presentation nerves

Recently, after doing a course with me, someone told their boss, ‘I want to learn to present like Paul!’

Naturally, I was born this way.

… I wish!

No one is born a great speaker. Every single speaker who has impressed you LEARNT their skill.

The first course I ever ran looked very different.

It was 20 years ago, for a big national training company. I’d done some presenting, but training was a different beast.

I was so nervous I sat down at a desk while presenting. For the entire day.

Hardly great stage presence.

I told myself it was so I could see my notes.

But the desk was also a shield. To stand in front of that group of 15 businesspeople felt like I was nude.

And forget eye contact. Too distracting for me. So I faked it by looking at the gaps between their heads.

You have to crawl before you walk, before you run, before you hurdle.

Never in the history of calming down

… has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down.

Yet that’s what we all tell ourselves before we present.

I was trying to calm down. ‘Get a grip! Just breathe deeply. Imagine them naked …’ (Has that ever helped anyone?)

Calm is the wrong target

Harvard’s Alison Wood Brooks tested if trying to calm down worked. Karaoke singing, public speaking, maths under pressure.

Most people try to calm themselves down.

But those who did best didn’t calm down. They reframed how they felt by saying two words out loud:

‘I’m excited.’

That’s it. And they performed better.

Why did that work? Because nervousness and excitement feel similar.

Thumping heart. Dry mouth. Wet hands.

Getting all the way from there to ‘calm’ is an international flight with a Kazakhstan stopover – a long way.

But getting from ‘I’m nervous’ to ‘I’m excited’ is changing seats on the same plane. You were already going that way.

Keep calm and carry on? Half right

You know the poster. Red, crown on top, stiff upper lip.

It’s half right: ‘Keep calm’ can’t be done. But ‘Carry on’ works.

Fake it ’til you make it

Cornell psychologists Kenneth Savitsky and Thomas Gilovich had people give impromptu speeches, then asked them how nervous they had looked.

Speakers were certain their nerves showed. But they didn’t – not nearly as much as they thought.

Then the researchers told a second group beforehand: Audiences can’t read your nerves as well as you think.

Those speakers gave better talks – according to them, and independent observers.

So remember: you look nowhere near as nervous as you feel.

Put your fear on trial

Here’s a proven, research-backed technique:

BEFORE

‘I’ll freeze. They’ll see right through me. If I stumble, I’m sunk.’

Now ask yourself: ‘How much do I believe that?’ Let’s say you rate it at 90%.

Now examine the evidence.

Evidence for: I went blank for a moment in a talk last year.

Evidence against: I found my place again in about four seconds. I finished that session. And a dozen others.

What would I say to a friend who said that to me? ‘You’ve done this a dozen times. You’ve never once not finished.’

Now score it again:

AFTER

‘I might blank for a second. But I’ve always found my way back.’

How much do I believe the original now? 40%

Most of us only ever hear the prosecution. But let the defence speak, Your Honour!

Then carry on

Everything above works when you have time to process it. But when you’re on in five minutes, it’s too late to argue with your fears.

At that point, psychologists suggest three moves:

1. Unhook. Not ‘I’ll freeze’, but ‘I’m having the thought that I’ll freeze.’ Same thought, but less grip.
2. Drop anchor. Push both feet into the floor. Straighten up. Name three things you can see. Two things you can hear. Grounding yourself takes 10 seconds. Your eyes are open. No one notices.
3. Focus on what matters. One sentence on why you’re presenting: ‘They need to hear this.’ Not ‘Don’t stuff it up.’ Focus on them, not yourself.

Then walk on. Your nerves can come for the ride.

You don’t have to feel ready.

NOTE: These are research-backed techniques. The ‘trial’ comes from cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and the ‘three moves’ from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).

Want all eight habits?

Mindset is habit two. The full webinar recording covers all eight, from choosing your One Big Idea to landing the ask while the room is still warm. Watch it in your own time.