In conversation with:
Amber Daines, CEO, Bespoke Communications
Amber Daines has spent almost 20 years in communications, including print and TV journalism, PR, and marketing, working in Australia, Asia and Europe.
She now runs Bespoke Communications, a boutique PR agency focusing on media training, public-speaking skills, and PR strategy, working with leaders. Her current clients span big and small business, government departments, start-ups and any cause needing cut-through communications.
1. What are your favourite strategies for motivating people to action?
Make it personal. Your call to action has to resonate with the person you are speaking to or writing for. It is the WIIFM (what’s in it for me factor) that drives us all to do something new or challenge existing thoughts.
2. What’s the toughest message you’ve ever had to write or deliver? How did you handle it? Would you do things differently now?
In TV journalism, all new reporters were tested by having to do a ‘death knock.’ That’s where, well before the online world of photo libraries and Facebook images, one had to ask a grieving family for a printed photo of their deceased son, daughter, mum, or dad to include in that day’s on-air news bulletin. I was just 20 years old and knew little about managing my own emotions on the job, let alone asking for something so precious at a time of raw despair, just to cover a story.
I went inside and, to break the ice, asked them a few personal, off-topic questions about their dead child, over a cup of lukewarm tea. It made me grow up fast. I got the photo and read the story with new insight, which I believe made me a better reporter long term.
3. What’s your secret sauce? When you sit down to write an important message to your team or clients, what process or method do you use?
My top tip is to ask yourself what you want your audience to think, feel or do as a result of hearing from you. The rest follows.
As a seasoned media trainer, I’m expected to know intimately the art of the ‘8-second grab’ that can apply beyond a news TV or short radio interview.
This has taught me the importance of having the discipline to make a point. Then back it up with solid proof like a statistic or a personal example, and then conclude with a call to action. This should all be no more than 30 seconds, as people stop listening beyond that. Also, I always begin with my purpose before I even get to my message.
4. Does that process change when you’re under pressure with a short deadline? How?
I love deadlines. My early career cutting my teeth in the world of TV and print news journalism and breaking news taught me that skill. It has never left me. It creates clarity and makes me think that, out of all the things I could share, what do I have to share – then that is it.
5. Nature or nurture? Can people learn to be great communicators, or must you be born that way?
In my book, ‘Well Said: How to be heard in business and generate real influence’, I interviewed a range of business and community leaders. I concluded that great communication skills can be learned. We all have different strengths, ideas and talents, but beyond that, similar rules apply when mastering communications both verbally and in writing. Keep your message clear, your delivery simple, and avoid jargon.
While some people say leaders like Barack Obama, Brené Brown or Malcolm Turnbull may seem like they were great orators from birth, I truly believe even they must have had to master a few tools to succeed. Like us all, they would have needed lots of opportunities to practise (and learn from their mistakes) to become memorable communicators.
6. What makes someone an extraordinary communicator? What characteristics, personality traits, experiences or otherwise ‘add up’ to make them so?
It’s always a moveable mixture of traits that makes me want to watch, listen or read someone’s article.
While some extraordinary communicators are warm, funny or even intimidating because of their achievements or stage presence, others win audiences over with their humility and ability to educate others because they know their stuff so well.
Overall, it comes down to being real and 100 per cent believing what you’re saying. Trusting your gut instinct, too, on why you need to be heard. It’s usually spot-on.
7. Some people say emotions are irrelevant at work: ‘Focus on the facts!’ What’s your take on that?
I have always felt the best leaders understand the power of emotion.
That’s why emotional intelligence, or EQ, has proven to be just as important as IQ. The most authentic communicators use the right mix of EQ with IQ and actively encourage the same responses from their team. The most thriving, successful workplaces in 2016 demand a two-way communications structure from the top down. It ensures everyone has a healthy work culture and bottom line.
8. Who, or what, taught you the most about communication? Tell us more.
While I did a three-year BA in Communications at UTS in the 1990s, what taught me the real power of communication was my year as a cadet journalist. I worked at a fast-paced daily newspaper. It was a tough learning curve, but luckily the more experienced editors and reporters there were great mentors to me. They shaped forever how I tell stories to get audiences to pay attention in the first few seconds of reading my articles.
9. What’s your favourite quote or saying about communication (serious or funny)?
‘According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.’ – Jerry Seinfeld.
10. What principles do you swear by when presenting to a live group?
Preparation, knowing your audience and being willing to be vulnerable. If all else fails, remembering I’m an expert in what I do. I remember that my role in this forum is to share that with others. I always want to help people succeed in some big or small way as result of my message.
11. How do you approach influencing someone more senior than you?
The beauty of social media is we can all be a little ‘stalker-like’ these days. Did that get you worried?
Don’t be. By that, I mean I can be forensic about the senior leader or person. I read a little about their career or interests and views before we even speak or meet. Knowledge is power.
Showing interest in them is paramount when you first approach them. Save detailing your own CV for LinkedIn or job interviews!
12. What advice would you give people who aren’t confident communicators or want to improve?
Be open to learning from others. Hire trainers, vocal coaches, enlist a good editor and attend lots of events to watch others. I love TEDx videos where you can kick back over a glass of wine in your own time and watch other speakers at work, knowing many of them have never had a stage career either.
13. Who do you personally know that you admire as an extraordinary communicator? What makes them so good?
Emma Isaacs, Global CEO of Business Chicks. She is always so genuine and makes everyone feel acknowledged and inspired even though she’s one of the busiest women I know. When you talk to Emma one on one, she is 100 per cent engaged with you and listens to you, which is rare these days.
14. Any other gems to share? Comment away!
To lead well you have to communicate well.
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