Getting the tone of your writing wrong can be disastrous. The resulting misunderstandings can lose you business, relationships – even your job.
This was top of mind for me recently when I was training clients in Hong Kong and Singapore. Many Asians, careful not to “lose face,” are polite when talking to people in person. But when writing in English they sometimes sound too abrupt; e.g. “I want your report by Monday,” instead of “Please have your report to me by Monday.”
What’s tone? It’s how your writing sounds. It reflects your attitude towards your reader. Does it sound friendly and professional, or stiff and formal? Confident or arrogant? Helpful or bureaucratic?
Here’s how to adjust your tone:
- Delay sending. If your message or reader is important, put your writing aside for a while (preferably overnight) so you can review it with “fresh” eyes before sending. OR have someone else read it.
- How well do you know them? Be more careful with your tone when readers don’t know you well (they’re less likely to forgive any misplaced tone).
- Nice or nasty? Be paranoid about your tone when writing something negative (e.g. critical feedback). Better still, don’t write at all – talk to them.
- Check your attitude. Readers can smell a bad attitude. If you’re annoyed about something, “vent” first to release your emotional hot air – talk it over with a friend or write what you’d like to say, but then delete it!
- Don’t write negatively. i.e. “Write positively”! E.g. Before: “Please pay by Friday or I won’t be able to give you the special rate” (negative).
After: “Please pay by Friday so I can give you the special rate” (positive).
Surprising “tone” research: When talking face-to-face, how much of your message is communicated via your words compared to nonverbals, like tone? You won’t believe this.
Now go tone up your flabby phrases!
Got another angle on tone you’d like to share? Please let me know as a comment below…